Writer’s Block
"It was too big for him, that was the truth. It had never really progressed, it had simply fallen apart into a series of fragments." George Orwell, Keep the Aspidistra Flying
In writing, writer's block is a condition in which an author loses the ability to produce new work or when a writer experiences a creative slowdown. It has affected everyone from F. Scott Fitzgerald to J. K. Rowling to Adele. — Wikipedia
Scaffolding (The Honeymoon Phase)
Scaffolding is a necessary part of any story. It’s when you build the world of your characters. It’s when you develop the backstory of the city, the town, the places, the people. It is when you write out the details that explain how your characters came to be where and who they are.
Humor me. Think of that time you came up with the perfect punctuation to a situation—the perfect comment or response to what just happened. Maybe you said, “that escalated quickly”, or made a reference to Harry Potter or Star Trek or Dragon Ball Z. You know the feeling you get when after, someone makes eye contact—when that person gets it, and there is a mutual appreciation of what you did there?
Well, a wise man once said, “there’s level to this….” And in relationships, everything previously stated goes Super Saiyan. The inside jokes that you share with your significant other simultaneously make the bond stronger and make those immediate moments more enjoyable. The shared values, cultures, etc have the same effect.
These moments; these values and insiders are all a part of the scaffolding. The shared understanding that comes from these unspoken beliefs and thoughts can make for something great.
Like good scaffolding, it eventually disappears and makes the actual building much better. It makes the actual story better. The characters and world behave in a way that is consistent with their internal logic. Consistent with the unwritten backstory each has.
I think of the honeymoon phase as scaffolding because this is the point in the relationship where you just go back and forth and talk about the past: your past, their past. When you see how each person came to be. When you develop the internal logic of your relationship.
In relationships, writer’s block is when you realize that while you may have had many stories to share, you feel like you have none left to write. It has affected everyone. Ok—maybe not everyone, but definitely a lot of people…probably. — Eberechi
Phase Two
The point about scaffolding, though, is that it is supposed to come down or be deleted. It is temporary. It is the building block that you take away once you have stepped up, the tile that dims once you have danced onto and illuminated the next one (1). The backstory is important, but it is not the story. The fun comes in writing the next chapter, in progressing and seeing where the words will take you.
This is the point where writer’s block can occur.
When you have no more stories to share and are faced with the blank page in front of you and have no idea what to write. When—because remember you have a co-author—when you have no idea what they want to write. When you two are not on that same blank page.
Having a shared history can be truly unbelievable. Being able to explain things to someone who needs no further explanation can be truly freeing. However, having a shared future is what leads to a lasting relationship. The quotes saying it’s not about where you start but where you finish applies to relationships too. And the deceptive thing about scaffolding is that it can lead you to believe that just because you have so much in common in the past means you will have much in common in the future.
When the scaffolding comes down, all you will see is what you have created. When you run out of anecdotes, all you will have is what you still have yet to experience. It is here that you really know if you still have the creatives juices/spark...because you'll need it to keep the fire burning.
Writer’s block is never solved by forcing oneself to “write through it,” because you haven’t solved the problem that caused your unconscious mind to rebel against the story, so it still won’t work – for you or for the reader.” — Orson Scott Card at Fiction Factor
“Suggestions? Put it aside for a few days, or longer, do other things, try not to think about it. Then sit down and read it (printouts are best I find, but that’s just me) as if you’ve never seen it before. Start at the beginning. Scribble on the manuscript as you go if you see anything you want to change. And often, when you get to the end you’ll be both enthusiastic about it and know what the next few words are. And you do it all one word at a time.” — Neil Gaiman
Unwritten
You know how I feel about settling. So it should not surprise you to hear me advocate for serious consideration of flight here, especially if it seems like there is no future. What might surprise you is that I actually suggest you give it one last go.
I learned a valuable lesson this year about what happens when you leave things unsaid.
The joy of not having to explain yourself, to not being bogged down in exposition is great…but when something happens, and you wonder why or how it came to pass…you can often look at the words left unspoken as a clue to true feelings. Simply put, when you don’t say how you feel, you risk misunderstanding or missed opportunities.
The idea of missed opportunities takes an interesting twist in relationships. What I have found is that in relationships of any kind, especially one where you seemingly have so much in common, eventually you are seen in a certain way. Your habits, actions, reactions because a part of the “you” that is expected. And your opportunities to break out of that mold decrease in number with time.
Frankly, it is often hard to break out of what is now expected of you, period. It can be downright scary. And that feeling when it comes to how you are seen holds true for how you see the relationship itself. What you do or what you talk about. The fear of risking something new applies here also.
The problem then is that you two have written yourself into a corner with no deus ex machina in sight.
But in real life, you can always write. The question is why you don't believe it is good enough. If my hypothesis is correct then the solution is to experiment. To go outside of the comfort zone of yourself and the relationship. What do you have left to lose? If it works it will cure the writer's block and if it doesn't....well...
Honestly, you might be surprised. You might still have some stories in you. In both of you. They were just waiting to be written.
-Eberechi